HE'D BE SCRATCHED!
"Commissioner K.M. Landis once heard that Bobo Newsom, now pitching again for Washington, was a horseplayer and called him into his office.
'I understand that you play the races.'
'Yes, I occasionally lay a few bucks on a hot tip,' admitted Bobo.
'That's very wrong,' said the Judge. 'Now supposing you had a bet on a horse, your team was one run behind going into the ninth inning, the bases were filled and you came to bat, what would you be thinking of, the ball game or how your horse came out?'
'Judge,' said Bobo, 'if my team was behind going into the ninth and the bases were filled, I'd never come to bat.'
The decision went to Bobo."
-H.G. Salsinger in the Detroit News (Baseball Digest, July 1952)
BOBO LEAVES 'EM LAUGHING
"There are two Bobo Newsom stories kicking around. The first is that the veteran hurler, just bounced by Washington for a fifth time, was standing around in front of a Boston hotel one night this spring offering to bet two rookies he could name the capital of every state in the Union. A veteran going by heard him and said, 'You should. You've played in every one of them.'
A Washington writer said that a while back when Bucky Harris was short of pitchers, he said he might have to start Newsom. A reporter decided to enlarge on the details, so he called Bobo's hotel room and asked when was the last time Bobo had started a major league game. 'It was in 1948,' said Bobo without a moment's hesitation, 'when I was with the New York Giants. Pitched the opener against the Boston Braves, held them to four hits and beat Johnny Sain, 1-0.' The reporter, knowing that Bobo is never one to bother with minor facts, checked his record books and found that Bobo's record was won none, lost one. He called Bobo and informed him what the record book said. 'That,' said Bobo, 'is not the way I remember it at all, but let it be, it's too late to change a mistake like that.' "
-Gerry Hern in the Boston Post (Baseball Digest, August 1952)
WAIT TIL' MRS. NEWSOM READS THIS
"Of course, there had to be something unusual about Bobo Newson's wedding. The ceremony was performed at 11:59 on New Year's Eve in 1943.
'My wife didn't want to be married in a leap year (1944),' the veteran hurler with the Philadelphia Athletics explained. 'And I delayed it as long as I could.' "
-Ed Pollack in the Philadelphia Bulletin (Baseball Digest, September 1952)
BOBO AND HIS SHORT STORY
Suspense! - Why Doesn't Forced Run Count?
"Louis (Bobo) Newsom, 45 years old and paunchy, is serving a second term with the Philadelphia Athletics, one of the nine major league clubs whose roster Old Bobo has graced in the past.
Newsom lost 20 games for Connie Mack in 1945 but that was not strange for him. He lost 20 for the St. Louis Browns in 1934 and the following season they shipped him to Washington. He lost 20 for Detroit in 1941 and the next spring they sold him to Washington. After he lost 20 for the Athletics in 1945 and was not disposed of the following spring, he asked for his unconditional release and Mr. Mack granted his request. Where did Bobo go from there? Back to Washington.
He spent the next few seasons in the minor leagues, creating the usual number of incidents. This spring he announced he was ready to return to the majors, and who brought him back? Washington. It was the fifth time that he joined Washington. He didn't do much good there and so they let him drift back to Philadelphia.
Good old Bobo is an actor of parts, a radio commentator of proportions and an all-around orator. He recently informed his old friend, Schoolboy Rowe, that he planned to become a short story writer.
'I've got a peach of a plot all worked out for my first story and it's a lulu. Would you care to hear it?'
Rowe agreed to listen.
'Here's the plot,' said Bobo. 'There's three men on the sacks and the guy that's pitching has got a 3-0 count on the batter and the manager waves to the bullpen for a relief pitcher. The relief pitcher gets to the mound just as the other pitcher throws a fourth wide one, walking the batter, but the guy who was on third don't score.
'That's the plot. The big wallop is that he don't score.'
Schoolboy Rowe wanted to know why the runner who was forced in did not score.
'I'll tell you why,' said Bobo, ' and you can see it's a honey of a plot.
'When the relief pitcher arrives, the fellow that's forced in from third is just startin' to lumber home like all them guys lumber when they score a forced run. The relief pitcher hollers at him an' tells him how lucky he is being forced because otherwise, he couldn't score from third on a double if he had to run.
'That makes the big guy sore. He starts arguin' with the relief pitcher. They have it back 'an forth. Finally this guy lumbers over the plate an' him an' the relief pitcher is still hollerin' insults at each other. The relief pitcher walks over an' acts like he is going to swing on the base runner and he comes over with intentions of swingin' on the relief pitcher an' the pitcher laughs in his face an' tags him with the ball. The umpire calls him out and the relief pitcher strikes out the next two batters on six pitches an' wins the game. I'll make the score 7-6.'
If Bobo was disappointed that his plot failed to meet with enthusiastic approval, he gave no sign of his feelings, but went right on:
'I think it's a honey of a plot. It's got what those magazines want, action and suspense. It's got everything but love interest and maybe I'll get some love interest in. I'll work up something about a blonde. Maybe I'll pick a brunette, somebody like Miss Long Beach, or something like that because I got to stick with local places since this plot is laid in California.'
'What plot?' asked the Schoolboy.
'The plot like I told you,' patiently explained Bobo. 'The bases is loaded with nobody out-'
'I heard all that,' interrupted the Schoolboy, 'but why don't they score the forced run?'
'There you have it,' said Bobo. 'That's the plot. The big suspense. Why don't they score the run? In my story, I explain why they don't.'
Mr. Rowe was still much puzzled.
'It's this way,' explained Bobo. 'The relief pitcher gets to the box just as the fourth ball is being pitched and he starts riding the runner. In the meantime he takes the ball from the pitcher he's relieving. The wrangle with the base runner keeps going stronger and stronger. The runner is looking at the relief pitcher, hollering something at him, as he crosses the plate and he misses the plate by at least three inches. By some miracle, the umpire notices him miss the home plate and when he comes at the pitcher to exchange a few punches, the pitcher tags him with the ball and he's out on account of him not touching home plate.
'Any other player could have tagged him out but in my story it's the relief pitcher, who then blows three strikes past each of the next two batters. This pitcher's got more stuff than anybody else in baseball.'
'It sounds pretty corny to me,' commented the Schoolboy.
'That just proves what I've always said,' Bobo told him. 'Truth is stranger than fiction- for the story isn't fiction. It's something that happened in California, in the Pacific Coast League, and I ought to know because I was the relief pitcher.' "
-H.G. Salsinger, condensed from the Detroit News (Baseball Digest, October 1952)
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